


July〚 TeukChul | 83line 〛

by sleepyhead1399



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Birthday, Don't copy this work to other sites, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Romance, Two Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:47:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24153046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepyhead1399/pseuds/sleepyhead1399
Summary: "Thank you for giving me the best present."
Relationships: Kim Heechul/Park Jungsoo | Leeteuk
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	1. July, Ist

"Let's break up, Teuk. I ain't feeling it anymore."

Heechul finally dropped his gaze, pulling his hands from Leeteuk's warm hold. He dared not to look at his boyfriend's expression because he was afraid he would waver. They were a happy couple, by happy meant they would bicker twenty-four seven but none of them would be able to part from each other longer than a day. Leeteuk was the one who would always come back to him and settle everything. Perhaps that was what made them stay until now. _Tragic,_ the very same reason why Heechul wanted to break the beautiful ties with his lover. Leeteuk was too kind, too understanding, too loving, _too plain._ Those traits that usually one sought from a partner slowly bored Heechul.

Leeteuk's mind went blank, he could only stare at his boyfriend with the look saying _'please tell me it's only a joke'_. He badly wanted to believe that it was indeed a sick joke Heechul would pull once in a while. He was rooted in his place; his hands blindly searched for the lost pairs that were Heechul's. He wanted to scream, yelling his pitiful love to Heechul's deafened ears.

"No. Please. Heechul, I can't live without you. Please... I'll make you happy. I'll do everything, please."

Leeteuk's half-shout words gradually died down to a pathetic whisper. His heart was hurting seeing Heechul only stared at his heartbreaking state without trying to hold him like he usually did. He tried to take a step forward but Heechul took two steps backward.

"Listen, Teuk. You're a great person, a wonderful man, a very affectionate partner. It won't take long till you heal."

"No! It won't heal unless it's you. Please, what do I do wrong?"

Heechul hesitantly approached his sobbing boyfriend, or he should start to say ex-boyfriend, and held his arms tightly. He enveloped Leeteuk for the last time, letting his old love go with the tears he shed. The warm embrace slowly turned colder and he knew he had to go. He finally pulled back.

"Meet someone nice. Be happy, Teuk."

He started to walk away, leaving his boyfriend hurting all alone. Each step he took was heavier than he thought as if many rocks were attached to his legs. He looked back for one last time and saw that the endless stream of tears Jungsoo didn't bother to wipe seemed to never dry out. He inhaled deeply and finally left.

"Goodbye, Teuk."

}}---{{

"Count me in! The usual bar, right? Got it."

Heechul threw his phone on his bed and started his game again. Blasting music and the game's theme sound effects were what accompanied his days. His hands skillfully worked on the mouse and the keyboard. His team was doing great and once again he was the player of the battle for being able to kill the enemy's boss.

"Woohoo! Serve you right!"

He cheered and leaned back in his comfortable seat, sipping his third can beer of the day. His life had never been so leisure and enjoyable. The thought that he wouldn't be able to forget his past relationship was quickly diminished the moment he had a date with his gaming PC and comics. Came to think of it, Heechul hadn't heard any news from Leeteuk since his one-sided breakup. Leeteuk had been very persistent calling him and asking for him to go back but he was probably more stubborn about his decision. The idea that his ex-boyfriend was probably having a hard time to forget their past relationship made him uneasy yet somehow _relieved_ —because he felt Leeteuk needed him so much.

}}---{{

"Here he comes, our party animal!" 

Eunhyuk announced loudly as Heechul walked like a diva that he was towards their table. The other friends also cheered noisily, making the other tables started to take a look. Heechul only smirked and motioned the bartender to make him one alcoholic beverage he always drank when he came here. He took off his leather jacket and finally took a seat beside his friends.

"Damn, look at you, Hyung. You look incredible!" Yesung said animatedly, obviously awed by Heechul's appearance. Donghae nodded vigorously and added, "You seriously know how to rock post-breakup period."

Heechul eyed his painted nails lazily before he flipped his hair dramatically, "It's been more than three months. I don't think we can call it post-breakup anymore. It's more like..." Heechul frowned, looking at the messy table. He looked up and smirked, "Let's just say this is sexy-free-and-single period."

His friends were laughing at the witty remark. They chitchatted about basically any random stuff crossing their mind, laughing, and teasing. Enjoying the atmosphere, Heechul lied back on his seat before, a moment later, his order came. He turned to the pretty waitress and thanked her, not forgetting to flash his killer smile. The lady blushed madly and hastily left the table.

"Hyung. You're so naughty. Poor that girl."

"Well, I just have some fun."

The laughing fit broke free once again. Heechul shifted his gaze to the entrance as newcomers had just entered. His heart dropped.

Leeteuk.

The man came in and Heechul could already feel warmth gushing from his presence. He sat on a table across his and not long after, a waitress came. Heechul couldn't believe his eyes; it was really Leeteuk. He seemed not having changed much, only now his hair was longer and he dyed it in light brown. Leeteuk beamed at the lady after placing his order and the waitress, the very same girl Heechul flirted with a moment ago, giggled, her face flushed red. Something was churning inside his heart—thing he couldn't tell what. The warm, dimply smile Leeteuk put on only asserted more that it was indeed him.

-

Heechul couldn't take his eyes off him as many hypotheses as to why Leeteuk came here alone flashed through his mind. His ex was never a drinker and it somehow entertained his thought in mind, that one thought he wanted to cling to—Leeteuk was still sad about their breakup and probably wanted to get wasted. 

Heechul smiled, remembering how much Leeteuk loved him back then. The way Leeteuk would smile when he cracked even a boring joke, the way his wrinkle showed up when he grinned dumbly, and the way Leeteuk looked at him as if he were the only person existing in his universe; those all were things he had long forgotten yet by only seeing his former boyfriend once again, they were floating freely inside his mind.

"Hyung, what's wrong?" Yesung nudged him, raising his eyebrows. Heechul quickly snapped from his long thoughts and joined the conversation his friends had although he knew he would never properly comprehend. He stole a glance at Leeteuk and his eyebrows knitted tightly when he saw the latter was on the phone, talking so excitedly. He inhaled a long breath and finally excused himself to the washroom.

-

"Should I approach him?"

Heechul whispered to himself as he walked back to his table. However, he halted on his way when he saw Leeteuk was no longer alone. A beautiful girl and a petite man were accompanying his ex-lover. They seemed to discuss something very important as there were notes, a laptop, and something that looked like a catalog. Heechul couldn't help but observe that Leeteuk would always look at the girl lovingly almost the same way he used to stare at him. He finally shut his eyes tightly when he witnessed how his once lover stroked the girl's hair.

His mind was a mess. Heechul strode back to his table and grabbed his jacket. His friends were taken by surprise but didn't question further because the Kim Heechul and the word unpredictable were closely related.

As he was passing by Leeteuk's table, Heechul ducked his face down to avoid meeting him. Yet, he just had to hear something that almost made him stumble and fall.

_"Arranging a wedding ceremony isn't that easy you know. We've already got the building..."_

Heechul could only listen vaguely as his heart started to throb, as well as his heart. He wished it were only a dream.

}}---{{

It had been a week and Heechul finally gave up in ushering his feeling. It was useless; how hard he tried not to be bothered by what he heard the other day, he sadly couldn't. The thought that Leeteuk finally married someone else more or less killed him. How dared he thought that Leeteuk would still be crying over their separation when in fact he had moved on further than Heechul assumed.

The day passed by faster than ever and Heechul could only wonder where Leeteuk was right now. Probably, he was having dinner with his wife; probably, they were on their honeymoon; or _probably,_ he was still thinking about him? Heechul's heart clenched as Leeteuk's last look when they met came to his mind. Heechul scoffed, feeling hopeless at his own feeling. 

Suddenly, his phone lit up and a ring tone echoed in his empty, secluded, quiet room—the room that once was filled with Leeteuk's silly laugh, their unending chats, his whining, and their sinful moans. Heechul looked at his phone and then dropped it immediately.

**` `[ _Reminder:_ 0107-Teukkie's birthday in three days]` ` **

If it were the old time, Heechul would be so busy looking for a decent gift for his boyfriend. Like two years ago, when they first dated, Heechul couldn't forget how happy Leeteuk was when he opened his gift box and found a keychain of his and his boyfriend's name carved in a tiny plank of wood. Heechul's cheeks were tinted with pink color as he remembered he was rewarded with his first kiss by Leeteuk for that. Or perhaps, like last year, when he bought matching shirts for him and Leeteuk and even matching pet clothes for Shimkoong and Heebum. The way Leeteuk whined when he said that he only got a present for Shimkoong was still loud and clear on his ears. His expression at that time was priceless.

"Teukkie, what should I give you this year?"

}}---{{

_"Croissant tastes better."_

_"But, pretzels look like wings, right? I'm an angel so I need my wings."_

_"Dumb."_

_"You love me for that."_

_"I know right, I'm dumber."_

-

Heechul was not sure what had gotten into him as to why he was standing in the line of a pastry shop in this hot weather. He had woken up by a dream in which Leeteuk said he wanted pretzels like he always did and without a second thought, he dashed to nearby pastry.

His mind wandered to the time when he and Leeteuk were still an item. If it was their birthday, they would go to his rooftop and spent the night there, eating ramen or pretzels, blowing a small candle, and cuddling up till morning. Heechul smiled sadly as he saw a couple walked past him. The image of Leeteuk and his woman took a stroll together would surely scratch a deep, ugly wound because that was what they used to do. Heechul inhaled deeply before he walked in the crowded sidewalk, reminiscing their path.

}}---{{

Heechul halted. Unconsciously, his feet had brought him to his destination. He looked at the familiar gate and his heart twitched. He ever so freely came into the house as if it were his own, long ago. He looked up, observing the balcony on the second floor. It was lit up—Leeteuk's room was lit up. The owner was home. 

Heechul took a little step, bringing his tired legs to reach the gate. He traced the word 'Park' on the gate with his fingertips and strangely it felt warm. Out of nowhere, the gate burst open. Leeteuk stood there motionless, clearly surprised at whom he found there. Heechul was no better. His eyes were shaking in terror as if he were caught doing a crime. He took a few steps back before he quickly composed himself.

"W-what are you doing?"

Heechul almost fell when Leeteuk's raspy voice reached his ears.

"I... I'm just passing by, I'm going now."

No responses, there were no signs of Leeteuk's stopping him. The man only threw away his trash, which seemed was his initial intention, and ignored Heechul.

"Teu- I mean, Leeteuk... I- I heard about the wedding. C-congratulations..."

Heechul smiled painfully, forcing himself to look at his ex-boyfriend's face. Leeteuk, however, returned his smile, with the warmth Heechul would always seek for.

"Thank you."

It was the most heartbreaking _thank you_ Heechul had ever heard. Afraid that he couldn't hold his tears anymore, Heechul was finally ready to go home, regretting his own mistake for his whole life.

"We're actually celebrating the wedding, as well as my birthday. Do you want to come in?"

_'How can I, Teuk? How can I?'_

_"Oppa, what took you so- oh, your friend? Hello there."_

Heechul froze when a woman, the woman, suddenly came out of the house and witnessed him talking to her husband. Leeteuk smiled at her before asking her to get in the house first, saying that he still wanted to talk to his _friend_ for a while. Heechul was already numb as to feel the hurt, he couldn't.

"So? Let's join us."

Heechul looked at Leeteuk for the longest time with the look that screamed how much he missed the former. Yet, all he got was a smile—a very painful smile. Eventually, Heechul shook his head, also giving his best smile. He turned around, just like he did when they broke up, and walked away. 

Not even two steps, Heechul stopped. He looked back, again just like exactly what he did on that day. Yet, now Leeteuk was smiling, meaning he was no longer someone in Leeteuk's life. Heechul's heart was hurting so badly, but he couldn't bring himself to show it. He didn't have any right to.

"Teuk."

"Hmm?"

"Happy birthday."

_"Teukkie!! Happy birthday!!"_

_"Thank you, Chullie-ah. Where's my cake?"_

_"We only have pretzels, don't whine. Now-"_

_"Where's my kiss?"_

_"Teukkie!! Go make your wish and blow this damn candle."_

_"Done? What is your wish?"_

_"Secret."_

_"What the he-mmhh!!"_

_"This is my wish, to always be with you."_

And the tears broke free. The tears that show how pathetic Heechul was. The tears that contained his regret in each drop. The tears that would never be wiped away. Leeteuk smiled, nodding. He looked hesitant and took a step forward.

"Good night. Take care on your way."

Leeteuk finally got into the house, leaving Heechul crying his heart out. His limbs had no strength left and the pretzels he brought along, dropped on the ground, shattering like his selfish heart.

> "Happy birthday, Teuk."


	2. July, 10th

"Let's break up, Teuk. I ain't feeling it anymore."

Like a thunderstorm in the middle of a lovely day, Leeteuk couldn't believe his ears. His mind went blank, unable to proceed anything his boyfriend had just said. He could only stare desperately at Heechul, hoping it was just hallucination. His heart told him that what he heard was not true but his brain screamed otherwise. Although he was torn, he wanted to cling onto his heart. 

However, his hopes were all crushed when Heechul finally walked away after uttering his painful goodbye. Everything was vague—the reasons, the breakup, the _love._ His brimming eyes continued to follow his boyfriend's form until it disappeared in the darkness of the night. His only light had gone; he'd become blind. Leeteuk shoved his hand inside his pocket. There, inside his palm, was a ring he'd been planning to give to Heechul tonight. A ring—to show how much he loved Heechul and how serious he was— now turned into a ring that would only remind him how miserable his love was.

"So, it's really the end," Leeteuk whispered to the ring without its owner.

}}---{{

"Teuk-ah, come out. You haven't eaten anything since two days ago."

Leeteuk confined his weak body inside his thick blanket even when his mother's voice had reached his ears for the third time today. No, he was not a single bit hungry. Everything tasted bitter after that night. Call him selfish, because he was. Although he heard clearly Heechul had given up on their love, he still wanted to believe that it was all lie. He still wanted to save the bond they had. He still wanted to cherish the love he had.

"Teuk-ah, your uncle and aunt are here. Please come out for a moment."

As there was no answer from her son, again, Leeteuk's mother finally pushed the door open. She looked at the lump on the bed and smiled sadly. Leeteuk had been very enthusiastic about proposing to Heechul but now that fate had shown how cruel it could get, she could only help Leeteuk to collect his shattered feeling. She sat on the bed, patting her son's back over the blanket.

"Teuk. Heechul won't come back even if you torture yourself like that."

"I know."

She sighed, "Then why do you keep shutting yourself?"

Leeteuk shifted a little. Noticing that her son reacting, she continued, "You know, Teuk. Love is unpredictable, today it makes you feel like you better die than living with the heartbreak you're suffering but perhaps tomorrow it makes you over the moon."

"I'm fine, whichever it is, as long as it's him."

Leeteuk's mother smiled realizing how stubborn her son was. Heechul was a good man but he was aware that somehow he and her son didn't match at things. She wished they would last forever as Leeteuk seemed so happy to be with Heechul, but, she guessed the feeling wasn't mutual.

"Give him time. Maybe, he needs more time to understand your affection. If he indeed loves you, he will come back."

"What if he will not?" came a muffled sigh. 

Leeteuk's mother inhaled deeply, looking at the photo frame of Leeteuk and Heechul on Leeteuk's birthday last year hanging on the wall. Their smiles seemed to leave no room for something to detain them yet funny how it turned out to be like this in a blink of an eye.

"If he doesn't come back, you have to let him go, continue your life, meet someone new, and move on."

Leeteuk flinched, listening to each and every word from his mother that was perfectly resembling what Heechul said that night. The look on his face was still vivid, haunting him in his sleep.

_"Meet someone nice. Be happy, Teuk."_

}}---{{

Leeteuk glanced at his watch as he got out of his car. He smiled; his habit to be ahead of time slowly became his trait. The sun had been setting on the west; he groaned, relaxing his tensed muscles from his workload. He strode over to the entrance of the bar and noticed that it was more crowded than he thought. Exhaling a long breath, he finally requested a table and got it right away. 

A waitress came to get his order just a moment after he settled himself. She seemed nice, beaming all the time. He turned the smile politely and put in his order. The table across him was very loud, contradictory to his quiet lonely one. It somehow reminded him about his ex; Heechul always liked to hang out with many people. Leeteuk smiled sadly, looking at his empty table. Now that they'd been living their own life without including each other's presence in it, he'd just realized how unmatched they were. It did take a long time for him to move on, but in the end, after his effort to get Heechul back by persistently contacting the latter, he was still left alone.

"Sir, your order."

The sweet voice of the waitress from earlier broke his long thought. After thanking her, he took a sip of his mocktail and sighed. He started to get frustrated as everything he did only reminded him of his past relationship. He was never able to drink a glass of beer without getting dizzy while his ex-boyfriend could stay sane even after his nth bottle. He chuckled bitterly, gripping the cold beverage hoping it would cool down his mind.

_"Teuk-oppa!"_

Leeteuk snapped his head to the source of the cheery voice. He smiled automatically, waving his hand to the person he was waiting for.

"Subin-ah, over here!"

Subin strode over rather hurriedly to the table bringing another person with her. She immediately hugged Leeteuk right after she came to the table. Leeteuk reciprocated the hug, tightening his hold as his heart was overwhelmed by so many emotions. They pulled away and Subin, then, introduced the man she was with all along to Leeteuk.

"Oppa, this is him."

-

"Ayy, you should drink the beer from this bar. We won't leave you derelict on the street."

Subin laughed, sticking out her tongue to Leeteuk. The man being teased only scoffed lightly, flicking her forehead before he messed Subin's styled hair. The girl whined loudly because the masterpiece she had created was ruined mercilessly. They all laughed wholeheartedly, enjoying the ambiance.

"Now, now. Let's get back to the topic, shall we?"

Leeteuk flipped the catalog over and over again to search the concept suiting their preference. Not even a minute passed, Subin cried out, "I'm tired of arranging this wedding. How can you bear doing this on your own?"

Leeteuk chuckled although deep inside his heart ached badly remembering his _almost_ proposal. 

"What have we had by now?" the man asked. Leeteuk sipped his drink before he explained to them.

"Arranging a wedding ceremony isn't that easy you know. We've already got the building, now we only need the concept that will fit in the building we've chosen. How about you, Ryeowook-ssi? What do-"

For a split second, Leeteuk's mind stopped working. He thought his delusional phase had been over long ago yet just now he thought he sensed the perfume he missed so much. His eyes instinctively scanned the place but he found no one. His heart twitched uncontrollably; when he thought he'd moved on, just a mere scent destroyed everything.

"Oppa? What's wrong?"

Leeteuk got a grip when Subin's voice reached his ears. He smiled apologetically and continued his discussion albeit his heart refused to calm.

"I'm saying, how about you Ryeowook-ssi? What concept do you prefer? I've listened to Subin's idea and to be very honest, it's a bit difficult to do that. How can you expect a garden party in a ballroom?"

Ryeowook chuckled, pinching Subin's cheek lovingly, "That's not a bad idea, we can be the first couple to have a garden party inside a ballroom. Right, babe?"

Leeteuk's jaw dropped. He scoffed hard, closing the catalog quite too strongly.

"No wonder you can bear my cousin's randomness. Not to be rude, but you're the same Ryeowook-ah."

Subin's smile widened as Leeteuk—his very austere cousin—was finally coaxed to her fiancée, dropping the formality. She looked at her lover and tightened her grip on his arm. Leeteuk sighed, albeit him still smiling.

"I'm starting to regret to ever want to help you arranging your wedding."

}}---{{

"Now you may kiss your bride."

_"Chullie, will we get married to each other someday?"_

_"Can you at least give a warning when you want to ask a very shocking question?"_

_"Just answer."_

_"We will, you dummy. I will marry you. Happy?"_

" _We will,_ you said."

Leeteuk couldn't contain his tears—no one knew whether they were happy tears or his stirred emotions also mixing in. Seeing his cousin married the love of her life made him if not very envy. How pretty Heechul would be if he was dolled up in a white suit walking down the aisle with him. The sky was so bright yet his heart was pitch dark. He needed his light, desperately.

}}---{{

"Teuk-oppa, I'm sorry~"

Leeteuk stopped working on his documents when Subin's voice echoed in the living room. She pouted, pulling Ryeowook's shirt as Leeteuk looked at him accusingly.

"I-i guess no pretzels for your birthday this year."

"Yeah, hyung. We're sorry. We've looked around to any bakery around here but they have no pretzels left. Seriously, why is everyone suddenly fond of that pastry?" Ryeowook sighed, plopping down on the couch. Leeteuk got back to his laptop, uttering lazily, "Because pretzels are special. Yeah, that's fine if we have none this year, just because it overlaps your wedding celebration that I spare you this time."

Ryeowook grinned madly while his wife finally breathed relief.

-

The sky was yellowish with a tinge of red in it. It was beautiful yet somehow it made Leeteuk nervous. Beauty only brought pain; the notion he badly wanted to reject but he helplessly started to believe it. Today was his birthday—his day. However, his mind had been occupied by someone else when it was supposed to be him and only him.

"Chul-ah, do you remember what day it is?"

-

"Happy Birthday, Leeteuk!"

Each of his family members took a turn to congratulate him, hugging him or even kissing his cheeks. Leeteuk couldn't help but feel contented. The happy faces he was seeing now were too precious for him to be ungrateful. Yet, deep inside, he knew he was greedy for more—for just one more.

They happily chatted and ate the food after the newlywed cut their second cake. Subin never looked any happier, Leeteuk assumed. He was glad to witness how love could be so beautiful after his cruel breakup; he was afraid he wouldn't believe in the lovely feeling yet again because the scar Heechul left was too deep.

"Now, guys! We actually bring some souvenirs from our honeymoon for all of you and special for our birthday boy today, we-"

"I ain't a boy anymore," Leeteuk cut lazily. Subin winced her eyes for a moment before she continued her announcement excitingly.

"Anyway, we've prepared a very special present for Teuk-oppa. Please open it."

The other family members joined to cheer him to open the suspicious box. He had no choice but to patiently open the wrappers. However, it turned out that his suspicion was right. After so many layers, he still hadn't reached the core of the box. Albeit his starting to get annoyed, he kept tearing the wrapper with the laughs of his family as the back sound. Finally, a very giant box had shrunken into a tiny package. Leeteuk huffed loudly before opening the box. 

His heart stopped functioning when he saw what was inside. _A keychain,_ with his name carved on the enamel nicely. The laughing fit got louder but he'd gone deaf. His eyes were fixed on the gift.

"You seem shocked, hyung! We're only kidding. We've got your real present over here."

Ryeowook brought a medium-sized package to the room, still giggling ticklishly. Anyhow, Leeteuk was still unable to move. The way his name engraved on the keychain was way too different yet similar—to the one _he_ gave. Inhaling deeply, he finally came back to his senses. His cousins looked at him weirdly but he couldn't care less.

"What a mess. I'm gonna throw this trash outside."

Leeteuk crumpled the wrappers before he collected them into a plastic bag and brought it out of the house. The coldness of the night seeped through his skin as he went out. It was too dark, too gloomy. He reached for the gate and opened it tiredly. 

However, his messed mind got even messier when he saw who was standing outside his house. His tongue got caught as if he was bound not to say anything. His question came in a stutter.

"W-what are you doing?"

_'Please say you want to see me.'_

He observed how Heechul looked so bewildered; the shock was written all over his face.

"I... I'm just passing by, I'm going now."

Oh dear, how much Leeteuk longed for hearing the melodic voice once again. He could still imagine how his name sounded so endearing coming from Heechul's lips. He wanted to step forward, crushed the latter in a very tight hug, or perhaps just touched his hand—anything, that could make Heechul know how broken he was. Yet, he was aware he should stop being selfish. Heechul had nicely asked him to step back and go, it would be a nuisance if he was still begging for Heechul's love even now.

_'Be happy.'_

Heechul's voice was still vivid on his ears, telling him to do nothing but go and be happy. He finally settled his chaotic mind, striding over to the trash can and ignoring the pain.

"Teu- I mean, Leeteuk... I- I heard about the wedding..."

Leeteuk stared at Heechul for the longest time, noticing the very small changes on Heechul's face—like the slimmer cheeks, chappy lips, and subtle dark circles— before he managed to grasp what Heechul had said. He smiled at him, hoping it could show how his heart was aching.

"Thank you," was all he could say. He originally wanted to invite Heechul but it would be so obvious that the wedding was only an excuse to meet him. Now, that Heechul was aware of his family's event, he wanted to feel bad for leaving him out. When he noticed that Heechul was about to go, his mind just acted on impulse finding another excuse yet again.

"We're actually celebrating the wedding, as well as my birthday. Do you want to come in?"

All Leeteuk hoped was for Heechul to say yes. Just this time, on his special day, his day, let him be selfish once again. He badly wanted to hold Heechul, keeping him in his arms. The look on Heechul's face was really hurting him.

_"Oppa, what took you so- oh, your friend? Hello there."_

Leeteuk mentally scoffed, feeling annoyed that his cousin had to come at this very fucking time. Nonetheless, he would be so sorry if he had to ruin his cousin's wedding ceremony just because of his personal problem. He smiled apologetically to his cousin, telling her to go inside. He hoped Subin wasn't too dense to understand the situation. As he watched his cousin got in the house, he finally offered once again, wishing it would be enough for Heechul to accept.

"So? Let's join us."

_'Because I miss you so much.'_

However, perhaps Heechul really came to his life to teach him how painful he had to pay for being so stubborn, selfish, dumb, or whatever he was. When his ex only smiled, shaking his head, he knew he had lost him for good. He knew this very time, he had to let go. Heechul walked away, just like that damn night. 

Heechul suddenly turned around after a few steps with the same painful look he wore the last time. Leeteuk wanted to run to him, telling him not to feel bad, soothing his pain if he had any. Yet, this very time, he finally admitted defeat.

"Teuk?"

"Hmm?"

_'Please don't say anything anymore, I will never move on if you say even a damn thing.'_

"Happy birthday."

_'Don't.'_

Heechul's glistening eyes finally let out the tears. Leeteuk mentally slapped himself. He knew he had pushed too much, hurting Heechul even more. He should've come inside when Subin looked for him. Now that he had waited for Heechul if the latter ever wanted to come back, he just had to see how heartbreaking their love was. Nodding was all he could do as he finally understood that they were never meant to be. That was what his brain told him but his body wouldn't listen; he took a step forward, caging his arms from hugging Heechul. Swallowing a hard lump in his throat, he finally breathed his last words before he faded away from Heechul's life.

"Good night. Take care on your way."

He forced himself to get into the house although his whole body was hurting. As soon as he closed his gate, his knees gave up. Dropping on the paved yard, he couldn't even bring himself to open his eyes. It was way more painful than his first breakup because now he knew for sure that it would take his whole life to forget Heechul and learn how to live without him. He heaved, pushing himself up. He wanted to at least say what had been keeping him from move on, letting everything out of his chest. He weakly opened the gate although he knew Heechul was unlikely still there. Reality checked Heechul was gone. Finally, his tears streamed down. Seeing the place where Heechul had stood earlier was now only filled with nothingness, his heart clenched badly. It was hurting even more severely when he saw what was scattered all over the place. _Pretzels._

"Chul-ah, what do you want me to do?"

}}---{{

"Why did you become all muted after your birthday?"

"I did not."

Subin's sneered, sipping her orange juice. She looked intently at her expressionless cousin and sighed. Leeteuk kept on playing with his keychain—her and Ryeowook's prank the other day. She was afraid if Leeteuk didn't take it too well and felt rather insulted about it.

"If you're still upset about that keychain, I'm sorry, Oppa. It was just a joke."

Leeteuk shifted his gaze to look at his cousin before he chuckled, shaking his head. The image of Heechul's crying was still bothering him that he had no time to think about the prank.

"Subin-ah, until when are you going to stay here?"

"Until our unit in the apartment Ryeowook-oppa has bought is ready. Probably in two weeks, why?"

Leeteuk put down the small stuff on the table and stared at his cousin.

"How does it feel to be someone's?"

"Over the moon," Subin answered simply. Leeteuk smirked, challenging his cousin's determination.

"You said the other day that you've been together for almost five years, right? And now you both are married. Don't you ever feel like you want to stop seeing him?"

Leeteuk was ready to be lectured about how strong their love was and how silly his question might have sounded. He'd been prepared for his cousin's fussiness.

"I do. I do feel bored sometimes. I even wanted to break up several times."

Leeteuk was mildly surprised when his cousin said that as if it were nothing.

"And...?" he gulped.

"Ryeowook-oppa knows me too well. He knows how to deal with me when I'm feeling our relationship is on the slope. He never leaves even when I push him away."

Leeteuk was stunned. He abruptly grabbed his car keys and dashed without even bothering to say goodbye, or perhaps _thank you,_ to his cousin. As he hastily started his car engine, his phone buzzed.

**` `-[REMINDER: HEECHUL'S BIRTHDAY TODAY]-` ` **

"Dammit."

}}---{{

Leeteuk gunned his car engine, speeding in the busy street. His mind was a mess; his heart raced. He was not sure whether what he did was right. This was all only gambling. Either Heechul was indeed waiting for him or he would be destroyed by his stubbornness once again. All he needed now was to meet Heechul. He stepped on the gas as he was nearing Heechul's neighborhood. He cursed loudly when the traffic light turned red, his grip on the steering wheel tightened.

"Fuck, why is it so long?!"

As soon as the light switched to green, he raced his car once again. He was so frantic. However, when he was about to turn left—the last turn before he got to Heechul's house, another speeding car came from behind, cutting his way. Leeteuk's eyes dilated, braking being useless now. All the memories he had with Heechul flashed through his mind like an old movie rewinding all its scenes.

_'Heechul-ah, happy birthday.'_

-

The night was still young when Heechul stepped out of his house to his rooftop. As if his body worked on its own, his subconsciousness told him to bring two cups of ramen. A bag of pretzels and a candle were also prepared nicely. His mind wandered back to _him._ After his last meeting with Leeteuk, all he could do was regretting his own stupidity. When he thought he could live without his ex-boyfriend, he was never very wrong. Because the moment his life got back together like how it used to, emptiness enveloped him. Every single thing he did felt so different now that he had no one to share. He would unconsciously talk to Leeteuk's photo, ranting about his problems and stuff.

He inhaled deeply, looking at the limitless darkness of the night sky. Not many stars were present; the moon was also too shy. There were only two stars shone brightly above him. It was so peaceful until suddenly a police car with a shrieking siren passed by the road in front of his house. He blamed his distraught state that his heart began to thump fast. 

His eyes followed the police car and from the rooftop of his house, he barely saw what happened in the t-junction near his house. Many people gathered at the scene as a car badly crashed the nearby store. He felt his legs were gone weak. He wanted to run there, seeing what happened because his heart had been yelling at him that something was not right. Something bad must have happened, _to him._ Whatever it was, he needed to make sure himself. He hastily reached for the door, intended to get down as fast as his feet could. He opened the door rather strongly. The moment it was widely opened, he felt that his breath was taken away.

Leeteuk stood there, smiling at him warmly. There were several bruises, adding his hair and shirt being a bit disheveled, but the blinding smile was still radiating its beauty.

"Heechul, I-"

Heechul left no room from the older to finish his sentence. He pulled Leeteuk into a very tight hug as his tears finally broke free. He poured all his frustration in the comforting hug, hoping Leeteuk knew what he had been feeling all along. He sobbed harder, burying his face on Leeteuk's neck when he felt that his hug was reciprocated. He wanted to yell, saying how sorry he was, apologizing although he knew he had no right to do so.

"Heechul?"

_'Yes, it's me, Teuk. The moron who loves you so much.'_

He was led to sit on the small couch that was originally on his rooftop, the same couch that witnessed their story. As soon as they sat, he blindly sought for Leeteuk's body. Afraid was an understatement because if what he was experiencing now was only a dream, let him to never wake up.

"I'm here."

Leeteuk clasped his restless hand in his and brought it to his cold face.

"Here, I'm here."

Pathetic had to be the best description of what Heechul looked like now yet he didn't give a damn. He traced a small cut and bruises on Leeteuk's face with his fingertips and looked right at the eyes he missed.

"I'm afraid. W-what happened?"

Leeteuk smiled.

"Small accident."

Heechul shut his eyes as the image of the crashed car came to his mind.

"Your car... Is it the one on the t-junction?"

Leeteuk looked a bit surprised though a second later he pulled Heechul into his embrace.

"Almost. But that's not mine. That car almost hit my car but the driver immediately deflected his car and crashed the store instead. I got panicked and braked as best as I could. I'm alive, tho, only scratches."

Heechul tears fell anew. The story was so overwhelming. He dared not imagine if he couldn't see Leeteuk again. He dropped his head, crying like a kid. He suddenly felt so little. In this relationship, it was always Leeteuk who came to him; he never did the same. How more selfish could he get?

"I'm stupid, ain't I, Teuk?"

Leeteuk _, again,_ only smiled.

"I... I even can't bring myself to apologize because I know I don't deserve your apology."

Leeteuk pulled Heechul's body closer, circling his arm around his waist. Heechul continued with his voice beginning to quiver.

"I... I always waited for you, I... I never did something for us. I couldn't express what I felt back then... It was always you who came and cleared misunderstandings I made."

Heechul's hiccuping was vivid proof that he cried badly. Leeteuk sighed.

"Am I late?"

Heechul peeled his body away, staring at Leeteuk's eyes to search for the meaning behind his question earlier.

"Am I late, Chul?"

"L-late?"

"I... I took longer than I should've been to finally come to you and fix our relationship. I'm not late, aren't I?"

Heechul shook his head vigorously, biting his lips as many emotions enveloped him.

"N-no. You're not late. You're never late, Teuk-ah. I'm sorry. I'm fucking sorry."

Leeteuk inhaled a long breath. Yes, it was the right time. He dropped to one knee, fishing something from his pocket. Heechul's eyes dilated, his body went rigid and his stomach felt weird. Through his teary eyes, he could see clearly what Leeteuk was about to do.

"Kim Heechul, may you let this man, who is lacking in many things but is loving and will always love you from the bottom of his heart, to spend the rest of his life with you? Will you... Will you marry me?"

Not even a second passed when Heechul also dropped on the cold floor and enveloped Leeteuk in a crushing hug.

"Yes... I will, Teuk. I will marry you."

-

Heechul was no longer cold, not even the chill of the night could make him shivered, because now he had Leeteuk, hugging him securely from behind swaying lightly enjoying the city lights from his rooftop. 

Leeteuk was no longer blind, not even the darkness of the night sky could make him afraid, because now in his arm was the man he vowed to always love and cherish for the rest of his life.

"Chul-ah."

"Hmm?"

"Happy birthday."

Heechul hummed, leaning back on Leeteuk's form. He wanted to wish that the time could be stopped just now. It was too good to be true. Playing with the ring on his finger, he looked up and noticed that the sky was full of stars now, but none was as bright as the two stars he saw from earlier.

"Teuk. Thank you for giving me the best birthday present."

"Hmm, what is it?"

"For coming back and marrying me."

Leeteuk chuckled, kissing Heechul's temple softly.

"Then, thank you too."

"For?"

"For giving me the best birthday present."

Heechul pouted, huffing.

"I don't like your sarcasm."

"I'm not being sarcastic."

Leeteuk turned Heechul's body around. He cupped Heechul's face lovingly before he leaned closer to peck the rosy lips.

"You also came to me on my birthday. Coming all the way to my house, bringing my favorite pretzels, aren't you sweet? That's the best gift ever because I finally realize that you love me the way I love you."

Leeteuk smiled. Heechul could only mirror the expression. He leaned closer and claimed Leeteuk's awaiting lips in a chaste kiss. No tongue involved, no lust was present. Only lips savoring each other, yet it was more than enough to seal their promises.

_'Maybe, Heechul will be so difficult like this even in the future.'_

_'Maybe, Leeteuk will bore me like before in the future.'_

_'But, I won't leave him because it's only the beginning of our story.'_

_'But, I won’t leave him because we will discover so many new things that surely fascinate me.'_

"I love you, only you."

Leeteuk smiled in the kiss he shared with Heechul after the younger said those beautiful words.

"Happy birthday, Chul."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! ♡


End file.
